Looking back on 2011

2011, it's been a life chaning year.

I can say without a doubt that this year has surely changed me, hopefully for the better. In the early month of '11 I was depending fully on others for my self-confidence and with such low self-confidence my testimony struggled. I manage to pull a good face and hide my fear, concerns, and thoughts that haunted me for quite a few months.

      My family, my leaders, and my friends could tell that I was struggling but didn't know to what degree so they continued to write me letters or messages of encouragement that I don't think they realize what they did for me. I appricate every letter, note, or quick compliment and I still have a lot of those notes; thank you.

Last week in July changed me, gave me the push that I needed to fully let go of my fears; E. F. Y. My previous year of EFY wasn't as life changing but it gave me a basis to go on the next time around. I had two friends at the beginning of the week that I knew, and believe it or not; I was shy. I didn't know then how much my testimony would grow and my self-esteem would boust.

      I knew instantly I was at the right place and doing the right thing; I'm so grateful for every single person who was at EFY. They have no idea what they've done for me, they introduced me to the light I had lost and reminded me of the queen I'm meant to become. The Fellowship -- my company, was the greatest. I honest feel like I made good friends that are battling this war beside me; I'm not alone. I'm so grateful for all of you in my company and my councilors; thank you.

Since that week, my life has been tough there's no doubt about that. I've had times of sadness that I've forget the great blessings the Lord has given to me, including my trials. I have amazing friends that have stood beside me and help me pick myself up; they gave me another push that I needed. I'm truely grateful for all of you and the example you have gave me.

     Back to the present, I still have doubts and my negative thoughts but I'm in control. I'm not letting them control me, they will not bring me down the level of misery I was once in. I know I have a ways to go until I am to be potiental but these are my first steps. I know life will be hard, but with the Lord I know I can do anything. He has given me strength and waited for me to find him once I lost my way; He is my Savior. My gratitude towards him in endless and eternal. I know how I was acting earlier this year did not set an example of a memeber of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. & I know with each prayer, scripture, and Sunday  I'm becoming a better example.

I'm looking forward to 2012, the year that I can really grasp a deeper meaning of the gospel that has saved me. I hope that I can continue to become a better example of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints and that I can help others know who they are and what they are destined to be. I want to be my own kind of missionary.

I hope you all have had a great holiday remembering the birth our Christ, may we remember his birth all year long. Happy New Years!